Oh, how I love Maybe Baby…. who shall now be referred to as Baby Girl here on the blog, since we found out ten days ago that she is a she.  Did you see the adorable photo?

Baby Girl fearfully and wonderfully made WEB

I love her and have since the birth mom (MH), sent me the very first sonogram photo. Baby Girl was only eight and a half weeks in utero, but she stole my heart.  Pretty much immediately.

I tried to hold back some, but I simply haven’t been able to do so.  The agency director warned me about holding back after our disruption last October.  She knew it would be my instinct, but shared with me that doing so would be interpreted as coldness by the birth mom.  We had no idea that our birth mom would be someone who would know me so well.

Still, from the beginning, MH said to “be Mindy” about this.  So, I have.

I have dreamed about Baby Girl.  I have imagined her. I have prayed for her.

Here we are at twenty-two weeks gestation and I can barely wait to hold her. Touch her sweet face.  Feel her little breath.

About eight weeks ago, I started to picture her as a her and as a her with Down syndrome. I couldn’t shake it.  I prayed for peace. And it came.  It came in the form of believing, with near certainty, that Maybe Baby was a girl.  A girl with Down syndrome.

I told MH. I told Paul.  I told a few friends.

I shared on the blog about how I was scared for a couple of weeks and then I wasn’t. I was a peace.

In my dreams, Baby Girl had Down syndrome (and her name already too).  And I smiled when I pictured her. Not one bit disappointed or scared or feeling like we would get “less” of a baby because she had Downs.

In all of this… this adoption journey…. I have known I could love any baby God gives me.  I trust Him and believe Him when He says that all of life is precious.  Every baby worth loving.  And parenting.  My heart and arms are simply waiting.

Ten days ago, I sorta looked like a prophet.  I’m not, of course.  Only God knows the future, the plans of man, and how we are formed in the secret place.

Yet, He really did press on my heart about Baby Girl’s design.

Ten days ago, the technician and the doctor told us that it looked like Baby Girl has Down syndrome.

Yesterday, it was confirmed with blood test results.

Our beautiful baby girl has Down syndrome.

And she is just as fearfully and wonderfully made as my other children, who do not have Down syndrome.

And she is just as fearfully and wonderfully made as your children, who do not have Down syndrome.

And she is just a fearfully and wonderfully made as anyone’s children, whether they have Down syndrome or not.

“Fearfully and wonderfully”… God did not make her less.  Or flawed.  Or imperfect.  At least no more so than you or I.

She has an extra chromosome and that will affect how we handle her physical care.  It won’t affect how we love her.

She has an extra chromosome and that will affect how others see her, but only for a bit.  It won’t affect how we see her.

She has an extra chromosome and that will affect how she learns, moves, and interacts.  It won’t affect how we treat her.

Please pray for her heart to be healthy.  Heart complications are common, but wow, do they scare me.  I don’t want to lose her.  I want her to be safe.

There will be a few new gigs for us and new challenges and difficulties in parenting Baby Girl, but parenting is parenting.  We go into it trusting God and obeying His commands.  That will not be any different.  We will learn what we need to learn.  And we will love as we always love.

DS baby book

Friends, do not be sad for us. Do not feel badly for us.  Do not be disappointed for us.   And don’t apologize for or to us.

God designed our daughter intentionally.  She is no accident.  Just as your eye color, your face shape, and your DNA are a part of your God given design, so is her extra chromosome.

Of course, some things will be more difficult as parents. But this is not a heartbreaking situation.   I could handle negative reactions better if her life was at risk.  That would be scary and so sad.

It’s not sad that she has Down syndrome.

Her life will be spectacular.  Just like yours.  And mine.

She will bless. She will encourage.  She will glorify God.  She is our Baby Girl and we can’t wait to meet her.

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.”  Psalm 139:14

She is fearfully and wonderfully made!

 

 

One of My Homeschooling BFFs

April 8, 2015

There are some homeschool materials that I will grab if our house ever catches fire.  Today, I’m telling you about one.  It’s one of two BFFs in my homeschooling world. About seven years ago, I was drowning in math papers and time spent teaching math. Having four students in our homeschool, I needed some time […]

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Maybe Baby Adoption Update: Week 20

April 6, 2015

We had an exciting Good Friday.  We had our ultrasound!  And baby cooperated for a gender reveal.  Look who is joining the bunch? We don’t know her name yet, but God does. We don’t know what she looks like yet, but God does. We don’t know when she will be in our arms, but God […]

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A Letter to My Grandfather, Written in 1967, Finally Found! {part 2}

April 3, 2015

Yesterday I shared the first part of a story written in December by Jan Risher in The Advertiser.  Be sure to read the first part so you can see how wonderful this little letter’s trip is!  Today is her part two and my little notes.  Enjoy! Jace Ray does not remember writing the Father’s Day […]

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Why do I Care About Autism Awareness? Because I Care About Mothers!

April 2, 2015

I realized yesterday why, deep down, I share about Autism Awareness Month.  I was surprised that it wasn’t just because I wanted to share about autism and learning more about it.  Nope.  It’s because of the moms.  Yes, I want you to learn more.  Yes, I want children to be accepted and loved.  Yes, I […]

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A Letter to My Grandfather, Written in 1967… Finally Delivered! {part 1}

April 1, 2015

I can’t believe I haven’t shared this story with you.  It’s sweet and sentimental and somewhat amazing.  And it involves my uncle (my mama’s “baby brother”) and my grandfather and a mail carrier and a journalist in Lafayette, Louisiana.   These two stories (part 1 today and part 2 tomorrow) were published last December by […]

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Maybe Baby, My Hero, and Me Update: Our Adoption Journey at 19 Weeks

March 27, 2015

Someone asked why I hadn’t updated y’all on how our adoption journey is going.  I had no answer except, “Well, I didn’t even think about it.” I have been so distracted.  Shockingly to me.   So, because y’all have been so amazing to pray and care and contribute to our journey, here is an update. My […]

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Is It Ever Ok to Quit Homeschooling?

March 26, 2015

I am a huge fan of homeschooling.  Humongous, really.  I love homeschooling, despite the hardness of it, the humor poked at it, and the heavy work load. And I have plenty of reasons why I homeschool.  And why I don’t do public school. And even more benefits for homeschooling. Still, do I think everyone should […]

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What I’ve Learned in 3 Real Winters, aka Winter Outside the South {part 2}

March 18, 2015

I’m not in the South anymore, much to my chagrin.  God had other plans and His ways are best, even if they involve temperatures sub sixty degrees.  Amen? Here are my other bits of wisdom (part 1 was yesterday) gleaned from three real winters. as opposed to winter in the South: Feet are key.  While […]

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What I’ve Learned in 3 Real Winters, aka Winter Outside the South {part 1}

March 17, 2015

So, I am nearing the end of my third winter outside of the South.  Not to be confused with the Southwest.  Or Florida, which is its own gig. Winter in the mountains of New Mexico.  Not to be confused with the Northeast.  Or Boston, which is its own gig. Nope, I am about to complete, […]

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