My Fondness for Fondness

by GfG on August 24, 2009 · 15 comments

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If you have been reading my blog for awhile then I’m guessing (and hope) you have caught on to a few things about me:
1) I love the LORD
2) Jesus is my Savior and example
3) I love my husband and think he’s pretty great
4) I have a thing for Culver’s and ice cream in general
5) I think books are one of the greatest inventions ever
And some other things… anyhoo…

The third thing on that list is something I take for granted now. I really do love my husband. I also really, really like him. I respect him. I admire him. I think he’s a cutie. I think he’s a wonderful father and husband.

Basically, I like spending time with him and I’m beyond grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life on Earth with him. I like being with him. I like just sitting and chatting with him. I like laughing with him, being silly with him, working with him and playing with him. And I’m glad you can tell.

Here’s the thing, I don’t see this obvious fondness in lots of couples. When a friend told me how she admired that I show my fondness, I was relieved. I don’t want to look like some of the couples I see, even in my little circle of life. I started noticing it years ago and decided to make sure I didn’t look like what I was seeing. I want everyone to know (especially my children) that I am thrilled to be married… for life… to this man! This is not truly conveyed if you just say it, you have to live it.

Instead of fondness, too often I see: irritation, toleration, exasperation, and tedium. Sadly, I see women who are mostly rolling their eyes (not in humor, but in annoyance), who are correcting with voice or body stance, or who look like they could be sitting next to any man, not the man they cherish.

I’m not talking about the every once in awhile things. I’m not talking about the occasional sin nature we all have that flares up. We’re not perfect, I know Though, even during those times, we should honor our husbands.. I’m not even talking about thinking your husband has no flaws for you to pray about. I’m talking about the representative way of how we behave around our husbands.

For example, while on my mini-vacation I was able to meet a friend’s aunt and uncle. Jo Gail and Tony were endearing to me for several reasons, but the top one was their obvious love for each other. They way they spoke to each other, laughed with each other, and looked at each other left no doubt that these two cared very deeply for one another and loved being together. They were fun to be around. They were the kind of example of marriage that makes you smile. And makes you think, “This is the kind of marriage songs are written about.”

Ladies, let’s search our hearts and seek the LORD for how we feel about our husbands. Then, once we see how we truly feel, seek the LORD to help us show that or (if we need to work on how we feel about our husbands) how we should feel about our husbands. Next, “praise him in the gates”. Without being obnoxious (and I don’t think applauding him during board games is obnoxious, YouKnowWho!) or inappropriate (some behaviors and comments are for you two alone, though Pioneer Woman doesn’t seem to agree), make sure he knows it and that others don’t wonder if you even like your husband all that much.

It doesn’t take a lot of effort. Smiling at him. Laughing at his jokes. Holding his hand. Giving him a peck on the cheek when you walk by him. Letting him talk. Choosing to sit by him. Agreeing with him in a conversation. Hugging him. Looking him in the eye and really listening to him.

Show your fondness.
I promise it will bless him, bless your children, bless those who are watching and bless you.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Best Life August 24, 2009 at 7:36 am

Such a great reminder. Thank you. I would take it further and say that it doesn't matter how you feel. You decide and treat him with fondness even if he's being a pain. It can turn a bad moment around.

Board games? That's another subject all together. Fondness is one thing, but swooning over him even though his answer is WRONG is obnoxious…especially when he's on the OTHER TEAM! LOL! Lisa~

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Jo Gail August 24, 2009 at 7:58 am

What a wonderful blog!

I do love my husband, despite his shortcomings. I'm so glad it showed and meeting you was such a blessing! What a beautiful family you have!

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Grateful for Grace August 24, 2009 at 8:50 am

Lisa- You're right. I"m sorry I didn't communicate that. I was focusing on the one side. I'm glad you said it.

JoGail- you're a joy.

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Jan August 24, 2009 at 9:17 am

I am blessed and happy to say that in the way too short of a time I spent with Chuck, I never got over my amazement that HE CHOSE ME. He was such a wonder…so very witty, so very funny, so very bold, so very "Chuck," and HE CHOSE ME. He was my delight and I thank God that He filled my heart with great affection for my husband…even as Chuck's personality changed during his time in the hospital, God flooded me with a new kind of affection…one much greater and sweeter.

Granted, he was a stinker at times…A LOT of times…but he was a joy even in his stinkiness.

Still, we decided early in our marriage to treat each other with courtesy…the kind of courtesy most of us reserve for those we want to impress…or even strangers! I think our mutual courtesy and affection defined our marriage.

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Grateful for Grace August 24, 2009 at 10:05 am

Jan-it did. You two defined happy marriage. Sometimes sickening! ;-)

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TexasHeather August 24, 2009 at 10:41 am

This is something my husband & I have noticed, too, and like you, we purpose to not be "those people." Thanks for this good post!

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Faithful August 24, 2009 at 11:26 am

I cannot even begin to explain how God has just lifted me through you. God is absolutly amazing and I am in tears, not b/c of what you said (b/c I saw your affection for your husband A LONG time ago) but b/c I am going through some things with other people and I was afraid that I was making the wrong choices. I read the scripture and I knew I was doing the right thing. It was just Godly timing to reaffirm from a women that I admire, respect and look to for an example of a Godly wife, mother and women.
Thank You Lord for your wonderful timing. (I know you won't mind if I give Him all the glory.)

{{{HUGS}}}

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Grateful for Grace August 24, 2009 at 11:33 am

M- I truly consider it a privledge to be used by Him. I'm rejoicing with you. I also got goosebumps!! hugs to you!

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Beach August 24, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Love this post…I feel blessed that M chose me too. Most of the time I am floored by it actually!!!
Jan your post made me cry…what a wonderful thing to feel and show that kind of love during such a hard time!!!!
Hugs, :) Heather S.

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Violet August 24, 2009 at 2:07 pm

My parents celebrated their 48th anniversary last week and they are still very happily married and in love. Their affection for each other is evident in everything they do. I consider it a privilege and a blessing that I have their example to live by. Even though I am divorced and still waiting for the man God has for me, I know what marriage *can* be and I will no longer settle for anything less.

(Just found your blog recently…and so happy I did!)

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Heather August 24, 2009 at 9:11 pm

What a wonderful reminder…T is so much better at this than I am and I think about it a lot. You have given me ideas and encouragement, friend :)

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chili pepper August 25, 2009 at 6:58 am

I am with you Grace.

One of the reasons I like to visit your blog is your admiration for your dear husband. I sentiment I feel myself for my beloved but that I often see lacking even and especially among Christian wives. It breaks my heart. Seeing that in other wives just lifts me up so.

I often ask myself, "Why did my dear Allen choose me? I am so unworthy of the love he bestows on me." As I ponder it, I always end up at "why did my Savior choose me? I am so unworthy of the love he bestows."

Happy Day!

Kat

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The Praying Chicken August 25, 2009 at 11:00 pm

GFG,
Thank you for honoring your husband in this light, it is refreshing. Makes me want to go give my hubby a big ol kiss & hug right now and tell him of my love and unending appreciation for him. Oh wait, he's already sleeping, yep, that's him. I hear him snoring like a sweet lil baby lamb, down the hall, around the buzzing of the fan and into my left ear, cuz the other one has the i-pod thingy in it. Rats……I should of been in bed first. hee hee!

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Autumn and Haley August 25, 2009 at 11:16 pm

My husband and I just celebrated our 11th anniversary on Saturday. Honestly, it wasn't until I discovered submission and respect that I truly learned what a "good marriage" was.

I am constantly being reminded of my role as a wife during our daily Proverbs readings. That darn contentious wife keeps me in check ;)

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Sarah August 27, 2009 at 6:51 am

Gfg, I don't remember which anniversary it was, but I remember being "in the school" when you and your kiddos were delivering presents to your husband every hour (a diet coke here, a comic book there. . . ). When HB stopped by to say hi, I said, "I guess your mom must really like your dad, giving him all these presents." The look on her face was awesome, like I should KNOW the answer. . . "Well, yeah, they're MARRIED."

That's just awesome.

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