Memorial Stones: Step Two

On the thirtieth of every month, I share a story of a time God ‘showed up’ for me.  It is a chance to  help me remember God is at work in my life and give Him the glory.  I feel I should be honest here, and maybe encouraging.  I don’t always have a ‘story’ ready to go.  I sometimes have to sit and really think.  I have to pray.  Sadly, I have be be reminded.  That’s one of the main reasons I do this, though.  I need to be more aware that God has done big things in my life.  That He has shown Himself to me.  That while I haven’t walked across dry land instead of drowning in the Red Sea, He has done some beautiful things in my life.  He really has ‘shown up’.

I’d love to hear one of your stories.  Read the full explanation here.

Last month I shared Step One of when God made Himself known to me, read it here.

After my “aisle experience”, I attended church regularly and Bible study with the youth.  I even joined the youth choir.  I loved all of it.  Naturally, I enjoyed the social side of it, but I really did appreciate studying Scripture, getting to hear about the LORD and worshiping with others.  I grew some.  I became very concerned about the salvation of others, weeping for friends.

Ephesians 2:8-9 was the first verse that my heart latched onto.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

My heart broke at the thought of this grace.

Then my senior year went into full bloom.

Ahem.

The last visible memory I have of being involved in church was of my youth minister visiting with me at the fence during the Homecoming game.  I was on the Homecoming Court and he was congratulating me.  For months, he had shared Scripture with me and led me and a few others in a weekly study.  Looking back, I’m sure he had seen it coming: me falling back into old habits and peer groups.  I didn’t though.

I lived me senior year as I had led my life before Christ, maybe worse.  Then I left for college.  The thought of going to church and getting plugged into Bible study didn’t even cross my mind.  Seriously.  I thought I was ‘saved’.

I remember one of the adult leaders and a couple of the student members of Campus Crusade for Christ coming to visit me in my  room on more than one occasion.  I remember sitting on my bed in my sorority dorm, listening to them share about “this great chasm that separates mankind from God” and “the only way to bridge this chasm is through Christ”.  I remember nodding enthusiastically.  I remember saying, “Yes!  I totally understand!  I’ve done that.”

Sadly, I also remember the looks on their faces.  I didn’t understand why they looked so sad, blinking at me while a strange tense silence filled the room.  I understand it now though:  my behavior proved I was not a follower of Christ (Galatians 5 is just one of many that describes the behavior of the lost or those living by the ‘sinful nature’), yet I was convinced I was a Christian.

I continued in a life style leading to destruction (not just spiritually, either), yet there were times when I was aware of the need to “be saved”.  I remember a young man I cared very much about was getting called off to the Gulf War.  I wept thinking about his eternal state, completely unaware that mine was in the same pitiful, lifeless state.

Not until I walked through some very dark valleys (otherwise known as being “letting me go my own sinful way”), did God step in again, spiritually (though let me say that He spared me my life on many occasions, giving me common grace).

I described this life changing night at the Arkansas State Fair and then the eternal life changing night on the floor of my apartment in this blog post (please read it, when you have time).

That night, I believed God.

I realized that I could not claim citizenship in both worlds, but had to make a choice between the two. I realized that being a Christian is more than recognizing your sin and your need for a Savior, it’s recognizing His right to be LORD of your life.

My loving God who began wooing me four years earlier, sealed the deal.  Also sealing my heart.  Step two was beautiful, and painful, and wonderful, and awesome, and humbling, and… beyond human words.

I’ll never forget it and I’ll never stop being amazed that He even took the second step for me, making these Memorial Stones even possible for me to share.

I’m so grateful He did.

Seriously.

(Oh, and I can’t wait to hug the necks of those Campus Crusade for Christ members!  Won’t they be happily surprised?! )