Marriage is Hard, I’m Glad I Married Well

by GfG on August 15, 2012 · 14 comments

I’ve shared before about how important it is for unmarried women to NOT get or stay involved with men who have serious issues.

{Series: Don’t Marry That Part 1, Part 2, and Stay Married to That!}

Today… well… I want to say that if you are not married, remember that marriage is truly a wonderful gift to want, but that it’s not easy, ever, so that means making a good choice is even more important.

I married the finest man I personally know.  Truly.

I remember the day my mom told me, “He would take wonderful care of you and love you very much, Mindy.  We are so impressed with him.”

Years later, I realized my mom liked Paul so stinkin’ much that if she and Papalou had been forced to choose between me and him, I would not have been standing on highest podium while the anthem played.  My family refers to him as Saint Paul.  Seriously.

And yet… being married is hard.  This journey is no cake walk.

Paul and I have had our tense times, our furious fights, our major misunderstandings, and our bouts of blowing up. We can look at each other like, “What in the world are you thinking?” even though we’ve been married eighteen years.  We can frustrate one another like no one else even though we love each other like no one else.  We can be baffled by one another’s decisions and opinions regularly.

All that being said, we have a terrific marriage.  One of the best, actually, so that means the hard times come with the territory.

While we’ve seasoned lots of hard times in life together already, I think we have stumbled upon a new one (which I will share in another post) and it’s pretty stinkin’ hard.

As I was texting with a cyber friend (Hi, Faith!), I remembered something pretty stinkin significant though:

I can’t imagine having to walk through this with someone I didn’t like.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, really.  While this new phase of marriage is hard for me, at least I’m dealing with a truly likeable and wonderful man.  At least I married well.  My heart was suddenly very heavy for those women who have entered a covenant with men who seemed to gain them entry into the world they wanted, marriage, but really gave them a passport to misery.

Marriage is wonderful.

Marriage is tough.

Please do NOT allow the lie that it will solve your problems take seed in your heart because too often women make very big mistakes while working under that premise.

Today, I’m stinkin’ grateful to be married to Paul, one of the biggest tools God uses to sanctify me, even when I don’t like it.

Today, I’m grateful to be married to a man that is a delight to anyone who knows him.

Today, I’m thankful God let me see this that man was a wonderful choice for a husband.

Even though he can make me crazy in every way.  Even though he is goofy for nearly every photo we take together.  Even though…

Just even though.

Did you marry well?  Have you seen it can be difficult at times? 

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Faith August 15, 2012 at 9:39 am

Hi Sweet!!

Yes. To all of it.

And my dh can’t make a normal face in any picture we take either. Our children inherited that family trait. Family photos are somethin’. ;)

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Sarah August 15, 2012 at 9:56 am

I’ve had your voice in my head reminding me the person you marry is the most important decision you’ll ever make. Period. For most of my adult life.

Anytime I start to wonder why the heck I’m not married, I remember introducing a boyfriend to you guys (introductions to my Dad, no sweat, to Paul…..major deal) a long, long time ago. Didn’t go so well. You were right. Dang it!

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GfG August 15, 2012 at 10:02 am

You know I will never stop praying for you.

We are honored, truly (you know that, right?), to have our opinion valued by you. Because we value you.

love!

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Blair @ The Straightened Path August 15, 2012 at 11:25 am

Amen! Y’all are an adorable couple. I too am happy to be helpmeet to the best guy I’ve ever known.

I think you meant don’t here instead of do, or am I reading “detonate” instead of “donate”? :). “Please do allow the lie that it will solve your problems take seed in your heart because too often women make very big mistakes while working under that premise”

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GfG August 15, 2012 at 11:31 am

Uh, yes! Eeek! Will change it pronto. :)

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lisa August 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Love this post, Mindy. Sounds like you are very thankful for your hubby and the marriage you have. And I am so thankful for what the Lord has done in our lives – we got married at the tender age of 16 and just celebrated 30 years of marriage on July 23rd. I can’t imagine walking through this life without my man beside me. :)
Wishing you a blessing-filled day,
Lisa

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GfG August 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Oh, Lisa, congrats!! 30 years is wonderful. What a wonderful testimony of faithfulness.

Our anniversaries are days apart: ours is the 27th.

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Toni August 15, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Can I just use one of your phrases? “Oh, my stinkin’ heck!” Did I ever marry the best guy ever! What is so amazing, is that in the beginning of our marriage, I was thinking, “This man is not meeting my needs, this is not what I thought I was getting into.” HOWEVER, the LORD can do mighty things! My man has matured and grown so much in the LORD and has become such a selfless man, it is unreal! He absolutely loves the LORD, me and each of the kids dearly and is willing to sacrifice his life for us. I can’t imagine being married to anyone else. Yes, the road is rough at times and we are quicker to resolve our differences than when we were first married, but it is soooo worth it. We celebrated our 18th anniversary in May. God gets the glory!

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GfG August 15, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Thanks for sharing, Toni. You two are a great couple.

I didn’t realize we got married within 2 months of each other. :)

To God be the glory!

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Damaris Rodriguez August 15, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Before I say something about marriage I must admit that your posts are something I look forward to reading and re-reading. Thank God that I married well even though a few months into our first year I thought I made a mistake. However, we have now been married for 8 years and counting. Yes, it has only been through by God’s grace, prayer, crying, arguing, more sobbing and love. Marriage is HaRd!!! I told that to a girl who was engaged and she walked away from me. About a year into her marriage I said, “hey, isn’t marriage a wonderful hard thing.” She laughed and nodded yes. I look forward to reading more updates on marriage.

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GfG August 15, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Damaris,
Thank you!

It is hard, but a beautiful work= marriage. Glad you appreciate your hubby.

Thanks for reading!

Mindy

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Jan August 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I married well…twice! I thank God for that. My first husband and I grew up together…married purly for heart…all passion! Thankfully, God blessed our union and grew us up in His love. When Chuck died, God out-did himself by sending me a second husband…one drastically different from the first…yet so perfect for the woman I can become within my first. Truly, well done, God!

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AnnetteQ August 16, 2012 at 11:11 am

So beautiful! You and your hubby truly are blessed for and by each other. You mentioned times when life is not so easy and you don’t see eye to eye. How do you model disagreement and reconciliation for the children? I come from a home where there was never any “choppy water” navigated in front of us kids. So, as you can imagine, I struggle with how to be that example for my own kids. Hope that is not too personal.

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Sam ES August 17, 2012 at 9:33 am

I tried to comment yesterday but kept typing too much and gave up. Today, I’m just going to embrace writing too much.

First, thanks for your openness and honesty on your blog. Your wisdom and biblical insights have been truly perfect for me to be reading, especially recently. [Have you noticed? I think I've been reading for a couple years, but I feel like I've been commenting A LOT lately, so clearly you've made a decision in the last month to post directly to me, ha :) ]

So. Marriage.

Ugh, I just deleted a whole bunch of stuff. I’m getting too personal, so I’m just going to PM you.

In a nut shell, thanks.

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