I shared on my Facebook page last Thursday that I was struggling and requested prayer. Thank you for praying for me. Truly.
I have had dear friends praying for my faith to increase, my hope to stand firmly on my God, and my heart to catch up with my head.
I firmly believe that God is sovereign. I believe He is loving. I believe His plans are higher than mine. I believe that He works all things for my good. I believe He is the Giver of good gifts.
Solidly, I believe these doctrines.
Last Wednesday night, my heart started doubting.
My faith in the love God has for me wavered.
All because a house we wanted to make an offer on was suddenly pending.
We are house hunting for the first time. There is a lot to consider and a lot of people to get into a house. There is not a lot of money to do so. That makes finding a good purchase for us a challenge.
We did find one. A crazy great one. In our price range.
We were ready to make an offer, but found out that the realtor didn’t mark that the house was already pending.
That’s when the tears started. Why?
My faith clashed with my heart.
While some say that He has a better house for me, I know that “better” may not mean what I want it to mean.
Sometimes God asks us to live in ways that aren’t our financial dreams. Sometimes He calls us to a life unlike the fairy tale. Sometimes He doesn’t let us have the Pinterest house.
We are to trust Him, no matter the call He makes.
The problem is that my heart was not cool with all of that.
I wanted what I wanted. My call. My house.
The thought of another change that wasn’t going to go the way I hoped or wanted was just too much. I’ve had a crazy rough year, crazy amounts of big change, and crazy difficulty dealing with it all.
I just sort of crumbled.
Thankfully, I have godly women in my life that love me. They love me so much that they don’t speak lies to me, but they also don’t ask me to be false with them or with My Awesome God.
They hugged me. They cried with me. They understood me.
And most of all… they prayed for me.
They prayed for my heart to get back in line with my head.
For my faith to speak louder than my feelings.
I cried out to. My plea was this: “I do believe; help my unbelief”. Mark 9:24
Today, if you are struggling with unbelief with your beliefs, take it all to the LORD. He is big enough… more than enough.. to handle your unbelief!
Cry out to him. Ask your brothers and sisters in Christ to stand in the gap for you.
And don’t stop speaking truth… aloud if necessary… so that your faith is reflected even past your fears.
Declaring truth despite my circumstances matching my ideals is where my faith is lived out. It’s where the rubber meets the road. It’s an opportunity for me to choose God or myself.
My God is perfect and His ways are always so. I believe that.
No matter which house we get to buy.
Where has the rubber met the road with your faith lately?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Prayers are with you in your search. I know first hand how frustrating house hunting is. We were blessed with a fantastic realtor. She made us feel like we were her only priority, and really know the area well. One of our struggles was agreeing on wants vs needs. In the end we have a house we like in an area we love….just too far from Texas.
This exact some thing happened to my parents when they were searching for a home here, where we live. It was the perfect house for them, it was beautiful and had all kinds of new upgrades and a to good to be true pricetag. Then, several weeks later, it came back on the market, my parents were super excited and put an offer in right away. As the inspections were happening we realized it was a house that was in the flood zone when we had a VERY BAD flood here. It was empty. It sat with water in it for who knows how long, and they didn’t have time to do a mold test before they had to make a decision, they opted not to risk some unknown issues.. It was pretty devastating to my mom and she still sometimes wishes she had just bought it without the mold testing! But she didn’t!
I am praying that the Lord leads you to the perfect house, with a perfect price right where you want it! {{{HUGS}}} friend!
Praying for you! I hope this can be of some comfort. When we were searching for houses, each one we fell in love with, that worked for our family, or when we were like “this is it!!!”, turned out to be either pending, sold, or it fell through. It got to the point where we would say “well, I wonder what is going to happen with this one!”. Time and time again. And yet God provided a house at just the right time, that was in a place we weren’t even aware of at the time, that was perfect for our family. It wasn’t one of the many that we’d picked, or even wanted, but looking back on it now, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here. God is good, and sometimes we have to remember that He may not give us what we think we want, but what He knows is best. And for me, I’m ashamed to think that my head agreed with that but my heart didn’t…I’m so glad He has shown me now how truly sovereign He is, and that I have no need to worry-He’s got it!
I am so thankful that you shared on FB your need for prayer. I was able to pray for you and only God knew we were going through the same thing at the same time. We have been house hunting recently, and just the other weekend, we stood in a house ready to make an offer when the realtor for the seller told us they accepted an offer that same morning! God has a perfect plan, we actually aren’t looking anymore, trusting the Lord for His perfect timing and I will continue to trust Him for your perfect timing as well!
Denise, no way!! Wow. I will be praying for you too.
I am feeling so much more at peace. I’m grateful.