I shared on my Facebook page last Thursday that I was struggling and requested prayer. Thank you for praying for me. Truly.
I have had dear friends praying for my faith to increase, my hope to stand firmly on my God, and my heart to catch up with my head.
I firmly believe that God is sovereign. I believe He is loving. I believe His plans are higher than mine. I believe that He works all things for my good. I believe He is the Giver of good gifts.
Solidly, I believe these doctrines.
Last Wednesday night, my heart started doubting.
My faith in the love God has for me wavered.
All because a house we wanted to make an offer on was suddenly pending.
We are house hunting for the first time. There is a lot to consider and a lot of people to get into a house. There is not a lot of money to do so. That makes finding a good purchase for us a challenge.
We did find one. A crazy great one. In our price range.
We were ready to make an offer, but found out that the realtor didn’t mark that the house was already pending.
That’s when the tears started. Why?
My faith clashed with my heart.
While some say that He has a better house for me, I know that “better” may not mean what I want it to mean.
Sometimes God asks us to live in ways that aren’t our financial dreams. Sometimes He calls us to a life unlike the fairy tale. Sometimes He doesn’t let us have the Pinterest house.
We are to trust Him, no matter the call He makes.
The problem is that my heart was not cool with all of that.
I wanted what I wanted. My call. My house.
I just sort of crumbled.
Thankfully, I have godly women in my life that love me. They love me so much that they don’t speak lies to me, but they also don’t ask me to be false with them or with My Awesome God.
They hugged me. They cried with me. They understood me.
And most of all… they prayed for me.
They prayed for my heart to get back in line with my head.
For my faith to speak louder than my feelings.
I cried out to. My plea was this: “I do believe; help my unbelief”. Mark 9:24
Today, if you are struggling with unbelief with your beliefs, take it all to the LORD. He is big enough… more than enough.. to handle your unbelief!
Cry out to him. Ask your brothers and sisters in Christ to stand in the gap for you.
And don’t stop speaking truth… aloud if necessary… so that your faith is reflected even past your fears.
Declaring truth despite my circumstances matching my ideals is where my faith is lived out. It’s where the rubber meets the road. It’s an opportunity for me to choose God or myself.
My God is perfect and His ways are always so. I believe that.
No matter which house we get to buy.
Where has the rubber met the road with your faith lately?