Pleasing People: How not to be an “approval junkie” {Free Study Questions!}

by GfG on February 3, 2014 · 1 comment

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A few years ago, the LORD started me down the road to healing for people pleasing via an incredibly painful experience.  I shared a bit about it here in my post, Why I Left Legalism.  What I didn’t say at that time was the LORD started the work six months before that.

The catalyst for the heart study, surgery, and sincere change began in April of that year a series of events involving a former friend helped me see two things.  One, legalism and control problems in others.  Two, approval problems in me.  Those two did not combine well and I realized it.

I also realized that I could not change the friend and all I could do was ask the LORD to change me.  So, I stepped back and prayed.

God almost immediately brought a book to mind I had bought years ago.  I dug it out from my book shelf.    That book was Pleasing People: How not to be an “approval junkie” by Lou Priolo.

Pleasing People

Summer of 2010, God, a dear friend, and I did that study together {and I invited you}.  It was difficult.  Yet, I saw incredibly clearly that part of the reason that legalism had taken such hold and why that woman was able to hurt me so greatly was my approval problem, so I persevered.

My persecution  lasted for over two years, but it was all a part of intensive therapy from becoming a people-pleaser to a God-pleaser solidly in my heart.   Gratefully, I became a reforming people-pleaser.  I still am, but I have made many strides.

Here is the deal about people-pleasing/approval seeking: it permeates everything.  It’s not like a drinking problem: you stop drinking.  Or a lying problem: you stop lying.  Or a yelling problem: stop yelling.

No, this is a way of perceiving the entire world and everyone in it.  It makes stopping seriously difficult because you don’t even realize you are doing it.

If you want to change in this area, you have to be willing to go to the mattresses.  Against yourself.

I promise God will meet you there, in love, to change your heart and mind.

Thankfully, Lou Priolo holds no punches on addressing this sin.  Since originally reading and discussing this book, I have participated in a Skype small group to discuss it, and c0-led it as a Sunday School class with my dear friend, Kim.

The book is painful and can be overwhelming, so I believe the study questions can really help.  I am posting them here, for anyone who wants to take this issue to the LORD for healing and reconstruction.  Feel free to share them, please leave the copyright info on the print out.

Pleasing People Chapter 1 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 2 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 3 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 4 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 5 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 6 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 7 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 8 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 9 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 10 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 11 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 12 Study Questions

Pleasing People Chapter 13 Study Questions

If you have any questions or suggestions, please don’t hesitate to share.  I see comments and will respond, no matter how much time elapses between this post’s original post date and your comment.

To God be the glory!

Linking to Mama Moments Monday

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Denise February 3, 2014 at 11:08 pm

Thanks for this post! I can see how pleasing others has a lot to do with some of my areas of struggle… and I can see the tendency towards this in some of my children. Thank you for the study notes, I just ordered a copy of the book and look forward to going through it. :)

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