Good for Me: My Mom’s Death & Not Kerrville

by GfG on April 21, 2014 · 6 comments

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A year and a half ago, I sat with a new friend, getting to know one another.  It was my mom’s birthday, though Mom was celebrating it in heaven.  As I shared my story and my eyes filled up with tears, I said, “I don’t see one good thing for me in losing my mom.  Not one.  Sure I see good for someone else, but not for me.”

My new friend looked back at me with understanding eyes, then she said, “Oh, Mindy.  I will pray you do. There is good in it for you and I will pray that you see it.  God promised us that is true.”

If any other friend* had said it to me, I would have shaken it off because they wouldn’t have understood.

This friend… this brand new friend…. well, not only was she standing on Scripture to convict me, but she was living out Scripture: she was a widow of less than six years, mother of three, and barely over forty years old.

Her testimony was and is glorious.  While she wept at the loss of her precious husband, she never took her eyes off Christ.  While she grieved, she never doubted God’s goodness towards her.  While she mourned, she never believed that He had no good in it for her.

me and Edie WEB

Oh, yeah. And Edie is a widow and mom of three, from a wheelchair.  She’s rocking it too.

I have remembered her words all this time.  Yet, I still struggled in seeing good for me in this one area.  I saw the good in our move, but…. In me not having mom?  Nope.

I want to rejoice in His plan for me because it is for my good.

Then at the Clarus Conference a month ago, Thabiti Anyabwile said, “If God has not given you something, then you need to know that it would be bad for you to have it.”

Putting it in that way, well… that hit my heart.  I thought, “It would be bad for me to still have mom.”

Wow.

That’s a hard truth, but it’s also a beautiful truth.

Scripture tells us, “All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

So, that means that taking her from me would be equally applicable.  And that would  mean that it would be bad for me to still have her.  Aka: i would not be for my good.

Why?  I have no idea.  Truly.  Maybe I never will.  I don’t know.  It’s God prerogative whether he shows me why it would be bad for me.

I am willing to look for the good though.  The good for me.  Because I am one of His called and one who loves Him. That means He has worked my life together for my good, including allowing my mom to die when I was only 37.  That means moving me from my beloved home of Kerrville, Texas.

So, God took me away from Kerrville. That was and is good for me.

God took my mom away from me.  That is good for me.

All of my losses, are actually my gain, if I keep my heart, mind, and soul focused on Christ.

I am striving to look for the good in the areas that I still grieve (and there are more than just these two).  I pray God lets me see some good for me, but if not I will ask him to continue to grow my faith.

Faith in Him and His promises.

Which are always good.

In my life… death and events in my life… God is working good for me.  How amazing is that?

Thank you for that loving chastisement, Edie.  Thank you for the new perspective, Pastor Thabiti.  Thank you, Lord.

What is good for you, as of late, that seems to be the opposite? 

*ok, the only other friend I probably have taken it well from would be Jan.

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