Our Family Isn’t Perfect… Just So Ya Know

by GfG on April 10, 2014 · 8 comments

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Blogging is an interesting way to connect to others.  I love it for so many reasons.  The comments you all leave bless me and, as every blogger knows, encourage me.

My goal is to encourage and equip you to walk a life of faith by sharing truth and grace in love.  For your life.

Here’s the deal though: my family isn’t perfect and I don’t want you to think it is OR think that I think it is.  We have struggles, just like other families.  We have to discipline.  We drop the ball.  We bicker and fight.

I don’t share specific problems with our children here because I want to honor them.  While I am willing to share my personal struggles and poor choices, I am not willing to share theirs.  Those are their stories and they get to choose when and how to share them.

Family Photo Leo Carillo WEB

So, while I will continue to be open and honest with you, I do have to guard some people and their hearts.

All that being said, some things have happened in the homeschooling community that have left some people saying some pretty negative things about homeschooling.  I think that’s ridiculous.

While Doug Philip’s adultery and Bill Gothard’s alleged sexual misconduct are horrible and heartbreaking, they don’t discount the entire homeschooling movement.  That would be like saying when a coach abuses a player that the entire sports system is flawed and should be discounted.  If that was the case, sports would have been discontinued decades ago.

Since God works all things for good, I look for good out of the shutting of Vision Forum and ATI being scrutinized.  There is good.  Some of it, very good.

I am grateful that God opened my eyes a few years ago to many of the unbiblical teachings and encouragements that Vision Forum and Gothard leaders and followers espouse. I see grace differently and that is a beautiful thing.

As I have prayed for the many families affected by these two earthquakes in the Christian homeschooling community, I realized that I could inadvertently be furthering untruth here.

And I really, really don’t want to do that.

So, YES, we’ve had to deal with parenting/family problems.  Some big. Some small.  Some kid fault.  Some parent fault. 

Do we seek the LORD about all of these issues?  Always….  eventually (just being honest).

One of the negative aspects of VF and ATI was that they often taught that if Christian families follow the formula (each ministry has/had a different one), then there wouldn’t be major problems as children hit the teenage years and especially as they become young adults.

That is an incredibly dangerous lie to promote.

It can destroy mothers, fathers, children, families, churches.  And homeschooling communities.

I’ve seen it first hand.   And it almost destroyed me.

I don’t celebrate the fall of these two men in their walk with Christ.  Not even a little bit.

I do celebrate that some (maybe many) families are questioning teaching, doctrine, and admonishments to ways of life that could be unbiblical or at least areas of freedom.

And I do want you to know that I never ever want to promote that our family has it all together and if you’d just do it just like us, your family will have a perfect family too.

That’s just not how it works.

God works in each family… through each individual heart.

While there are ways of growing in our faith, wisdom, and godly walk that the Bible admonishes us to do, the list isn’t long.  And there is no list for a daily schedule that creates a godly family full of godly people.

I will, LORD willing, continue to share ways that God is moving in my heart and family via this blog.  I never want to stop encouraging you… as the LORD encourages me.

Just know that we are on this journey together.  I might be years ahead of you in the faith or in the parenting gig or in the homeschooling journey, but I am a weak vessel too.

A weak vessel grateful for any good God chooses to do in her life, family, and homeschool.

I’m not perfect and my family isn’t perfect.  We are perfectly put together to glorify the LORD as a family as we learn how to do so as individuals.  I pray you see that here at Grateful for Grace.

I am blessed to be a part of your journey as you come here for encouragement, challenge, and even a few laughs, but always seek God’s Word first and foremost for the doctrine you live out, not just from what I say here, but from what you hear anywhere.  False teachers don’t wear signs that say they are false teachers and neither do ones that encourage legalism.

Grace and truth, friends.  Grace AND truth.  For your perfectly created family growing in both.   And mine.

Join me in the not so perfect journey?

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Diana April 10, 2014 at 9:16 am

Beautiful post.


GfG April 10, 2014 at 11:37 pm

Thank you.


John R Merritt April 10, 2014 at 9:50 am

As far as I am concerned…y’all are perfect as perfect can be as a family.


GfG April 10, 2014 at 11:37 pm

You’re just always blessing me. Thank you!


Michelle G April 10, 2014 at 1:54 pm

It’s difficult to explain to people on the outside looking in that neither I or my family are perfect without sharing their stories. I know you didn’t mean it as a suggestion but I’m taking it that way. I teach my children at home. It really doesn’t tell much more about me or my family by making that statement. We, as a home school community, vary SO much! I love it. I think it’s a microcosm of the Body of Christ. (Psalm 133)
btw…I’m thankful for that Sonlight suggestion to read one of your blogs. I’ve been hooked and encouraged and sharing ever since! :) Thank you for writing. <3


GfG April 10, 2014 at 11:36 pm

Yes, the variation within the homeschool community is beautiful and good.

I’m honored, Michelle. So glad you are here.


Tina Boll April 14, 2014 at 4:55 pm

Sometimes when I read about how you are raising your kids – I feel like I broke mine and I want to return them and get new ones.
So it reassures me to know that however perfect seeming- there are imperfections. 😉


GfG April 14, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Nope. Mine are broken too. And so are their parents.



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