Why We’re Open to Any Race of Baby for Our Adoption:Racism & Christianity Shouldn’t Coexist

by GfG on December 23, 2014 · 9 comments

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On our adoption journey, we have encountered some interesting… and heartbreaking…. situations.

We are used to people not understanding why we want more than a few kids.  That has been an issue with people since passing the #3 mark. Passing the #4 mark for sure.

We are sadly familiar with racism in certain areas of the country and in the media.  It has been a whole new issue though, as we pursue adoption.

And it breaks my heart.  Even more.

We are not used to the idea that us adopting a non-white child is a  horrible idea.  That has me reeling and hurting.

Christians should not be racist.  Ever.  It goes against God’s Word.  

If you believe otherwise, then you are deceived.    And you have succumbed to cultural lies. 

Here are our reasons for why we are open to welcoming any race of baby into our home.

1)  Christ preached against racism.  Like a fantastic article said, “racism is often viewed as a bad habit rather than grievous sin”.  It is a sin.  

2)  If we did not accept babies of any race because of how other people believe, including people we love dearly, then we would be allowing their racism to dictate our decisions.  It’s not just their preferences, but their sin.

3)  God wants us to love and honor family and other people in our lives, but we are to submit our wills and our decisions to His teaching, glory, and honor.   In Scripture we are told to choose Christ over all and He is to be LORD of our life, including our racial relationships.

Matthew 19:29 “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life.”

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26

4)  We do not want to perpetuate racism with our lack of action.  Paul and I aren’t racist and I’m glad. If we refuse babies of color because of how other people feel, then we are being racist and we are continuing to carry on a horrible and dishonoring (to God and man) behavior passed to us by others  instead of letting it end with them.

Racism-and-Christianity 3-image

5)  Our loyalty lies with Christ, not man.  Any man.

“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  Joshua 24:15

6)  We could perhaps thwart the only opportunity some people will ever have to develop a personal relationship with a person of color if we limit our choice to white babies.  Instead of viewing this as a bad opportunity for racist people, it could end up being the crack in their thinking.

True, it might not happen: God might not bring us a baby of color AND/OR people in our lives may not change their thinking.  We don’t want to be the ones to help them continue keeping this barrier though.

7)  We need to demonstrate to our children that Christ’s teaching comes first.

8)  We could kill any small bits of racism in our own hearts.  We do not believe we are racist, but neither of us dated people of color.  I know I never considered it.  I simply wasn’t attracted.  I wonder why though?

Was it only chemical or did the racism in the culture where we grew up affect us enough that we were not attracted to people that God says are equal?

9)  We have to be willing to sacrifice for Christ.  Yes, we may lose relationships if we adopt a child of color.  That is a sad truth.

Yet, our hearts and our minds tells us that we have to be willing to sacrifice any relationship out of honor to the LORD,  to show love to a mother that believes the best choice she can make is for her baby to grow up with us, to show the love of God to a child that doesn’t “match” us.

multi cultural hands WEB

10)   After realizing that the Civil Rights leaders worked hard to get us to this point in our culture, we feel like the baton has been passed to us to make sure we continue it.  This could be our opportunity to live out the truth that “all men are created equal” and that God makes “no distinction between Greek and Jew”.

Compared to what many sacrificed (the Freedom Riders, for example) to get us to this point as a nation, it’s little.

11)   We know that the African American (AA) community is losing huge numbers because of abortion (there were more AA babies aborted last year in New York City than there were born) and is having its children not have forever families (being placed and left in the foster care system) because AA boys are the least adopted, well…. it breaks our heart. 

It breaks our heart to know that and not be willing to do anything about it. 

12)   We wonder if God is testing us, personally and as a community.  “Do you believe all of my truth?  Are you willing to live it?  Are you willing to sacrifice to show my love?  Are you willing to love those who others say are unlovable?”

We also wonder if God is testing His people through adoption: “Are you willing to adopt based on my teaching or on racist views/problems/relationships?”

I know that it’s sad that the AA community is not stepping up to adopt AA boys, but I also know that the white community is also not stepping up.  Could we, as the church, be being tested by God?  It’s possible.  If so, we are failing.

So, those are our reasons for not limiting our adoption application to white only or only to a couple of different races of babies.  It is not a popular decision with people in our lives and that is heartbreaking.  It could cost us dearly.

But Christ is worth so much more.

Have you encountered racism in your life? How?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Peg December 23, 2014 at 7:49 am

I have forever told my kids that God doesn’t care what we look like. He just wants to see his Son in us when he looks at us. And not one other thing matters.

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GfG December 23, 2014 at 7:53 am

Beautiful! That applies so well in so many areas. Thank you for commenting, Peg!

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Erin December 23, 2014 at 8:39 am

I just stumbled across your post and am so glad! I am the mother of two children through adoption. They are black, and it is really sad how they are still faced with racism daily. If you ever want to chat more as you pursue adoption I’d love to connect!

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GfG December 23, 2014 at 8:58 am

Erin, I would love to connect! I’d also love to hear how you combat what your kiddos face. Thanks for commenting!

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Anne Garboczi Evans December 23, 2014 at 9:28 am

I agree that is so sad that children of certain races have a harder time finding a family. :( But just a different perspective. I think some families say no to a particular race because they feel they don’t know enough about the child’s heritage to fully help that child learn about their heritage. So not a skin color thing, but a cultural thing. I’m sure a birth parent from a particular culture might feel best if their child got to grow up immersed in that culture rather than completely switching cultures.
Thoughts?

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GfG December 23, 2014 at 9:33 am

Yes, some birth moms feel that way, but…
Here are my thoughts:
I have asked many African American women about it and they all have said, “We aren’t different. We are just people too. I don’t really have a different culture than you here in America. Maybe in other countries, but not here.”
I think we continue to perpetuate the separate but equal mindset when we talk about not mixing “cultures”.
I believe that when we don’t do something out of fear as opposed to wisdom, then we aren’t walking in the Spirit.
I think when we make that decision for the birth mom, then we aren’t really letting her decide, know what I mean?
I don’t think I really need to know anything about a heritage to raise a child and love them beautifully. Heritage is only part of us, and I would argue a small part, but our core family is where we find our value, love, and worldview.

Thank you so much for chiming in here, Anne!

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Sam ES December 23, 2014 at 10:29 am

I understand that other perspective. As foster and adoptive parents, we’ve taken in AA girls before, but the state said they preferred they be with AA parents so they can relate better, as they have a shared history and cultural values. But… We certainly don’t have a color preference; are we just trying to not upset the apple cart and avoid political incorrectness but not questioning other people’s preferences? I appreciate Mindy bringing up this topic; it certainly gets me thinking about my motivation and how we may be perpetuating the idea that color matters so much. [Some of those words are Mindy’s 😉 ]

Our three adopted children look like us, but that doesn’t mean we have any shared heritage. (Here’s a secret: we don’t. At all.). My husband, who is also adopted, doesn’t even know his heritage. So what? We love our kids and try to show them Christ’s love. Isn’t that all that matters in the end?

The statistics of children of color waiting for homes while adoptive parents wait for Caucasian babies is also devastating.

I appreciate the conversation :)

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GfG December 23, 2014 at 10:35 am

Beautiful points, Sam!

Thank you for sharing. <3

(be sure to read Sam's adoption story here on Grateful for Grace!
http://gratefulforgrace.com/2013/11/adoption-awareness-sams-story-part-1/

It’s beatitful!)

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Susan December 23, 2014 at 1:38 pm

We adopted a beautiful African American boy at birth.He is now seven.A total joy who has a deep awareness of God who created him.God has an awesome life planned for our little man.We are thankful his mother unselfishly gave us this gift.

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