Marking milestones is important.  Building one another up is too.  Yesterday, we did both intentionally.

Last week I wrapped up my one-on-one work with the kiddos as far as academic work for the year.  A few kids had some final work to do, but they finished Monday! So… yesterday we had a celebratory day recognizing the end of our school year.  It was a blast!  And it also involved a first for us.

In the spirit of lifelong learning and the belief that education is a natural part of our life, we enjoyed some cultural outings.  My adventurous friend had fun photos on her Facebook page months ago of her kiddos and I asked her to give us our tour of the two unusual spots.

First, we browsed an ethnic grocery store.  Wow.  The smell hit us as soon as we walked in, but thankfully died down a lot.  We have enjoyed looking around in an Indian grocery store, but this was above and beyond.   Each aisle was from a different country.  Guess which one I liked best?

We looked for the oddest item and for treats we wanted to try.  No one opted for squid in ink.  Go figure.  Naan, hard boiled salted duck egg, curry paste, chili sauce, and some sweets from a few countries made it into our cart.

Next stop, a grocery store/Mexican street food market.  I loved this place!!   Not only did it have tons of fresh produce and items popular with Mexican dishes, but it had an indoor food mercado!  It really did feel like we stepped into Old Mexico for some street food.

And I love street food.  Especially Mexican street food.

Turns out, so do my kiddos.  Though they lean to the sweet side.  Again, go figure.

We took our goodies and ran for the best grassy area (not to be confused with THE grassy knoll) in Albuquerque: the Botanical Gardens.  So many gardens, so much fun.

I just soaked in all the green my eyes could take.  Seriously.  I looked and looked and looked, as if I could absorb enough of the visual beauty.

The kids ate and then ran.  Literally.   Lots.

After much play, we made our last celebratory stop: the aquarium.

Maybe we were trying to soak in some water too.  Even if just visually.   Not only do we miss bodies of water, but there is just something lovely about watching animals swim.

We were exhausted, but full to the brim from a fun day of celebrating a year of hard work in the academic side of homeschooling.  At the end of the night, we marked the milestones.

Thanks to a friend (hi, Amy!) who shared about her son’s awards ceremony at his little private school, we awarded each kiddo a character trait award, based on Scripture.  Each child gave me a list with a trait for each sibling.  Something specific they have noticed from this past year.

The awards reflected a consensus from the family.  The certificates  themselves also reflected some fun specifics from a year together, via the graphics.

I was happily surprised at the room full of grins.

So, while I love the idea of not recognizing grade levels (just couldn’t avoid it once we joined AWANA and BSF) or school years, I especially love recognizing that each child has accomplished not only much academically in a season, but much emotionally and spiritually.

And their homeschooling family noticed.

Our 2012-2013 school year was a success! How about yours? 

Screen time is an issue in our home.  I am chief among sinners in this area, so I’ve been taking real steps to get my screen time (phone and computer) under control.  A friend suggested I take Facebook off my phone.  Brilliant!  That really helped.

Secondly, I put my laptop in my room during the day instead of right next to me.  Lastly, I talk to myself when I am on it too much.  That really isn’t as weird as it sounds.  :-)

For the kiddos, I took some new measures two weeks ago and it helps by leaps and bounds.  Almost literally.

Here are the new parameters for screen time privileges:

• They get 30 mins a day.
• Playing or watching a sibling counts as screen time.
• Choose: iPad, iTouch, computer, or television. 
• The key that opens the screen each day is 30 mins of non-stop exercise.

I can’t believe how much this has helped.   We may add some measures later, but this suits us for now.

We have all needed some help to exercise since moving here.  It may sound odd, but living on uneven desert land  has been a huge deterrent to running around.  Think cactus, huge stickers, and no grass, but lots of dirt.  We don’t have access to a pool, sports gym, league sports or much cement.

I asked some some friends and one of their suggestions was jumping rope, as in the large one turned by two people.  Wowza!  What a hit it has been.

Granted, we are newbies, so we entertain viewers, but we are exercising.

It’s pretty fun to wake up to kiddos already jumping rope outside, in their pajamas even.  

We are buying hula hoops today, per their request (plus it was another great suggestion from the friends).  I am considering spending the money on Just Dance 4 because I’ve played it and it is quite a work out!  (Certain songs would not be allowed.)  We will also start our daily walks/bike rides to the mail box again, now that winter is over (right, God?!).

The children choose what to do.  Their options right now:

• walk/jog
• bike ride
• jump rope
• lift weights
• training sets (push ups, jumping jacks, sit ups)
• hopscotch
• hoola hoop

I love that each kiddo is choosing exercise that suits them.   Paul Louis is pretty hilarious.  His exercise of choice is marching in place.

I really do want to more actively encourage a healthy view of exercise.  My goal has always been to help my children find a couple of kinds of active choices that they enjoy and that are not dependent on a nice sized income or others (sports gyms, league sports, wall climbing, fencing, etc).

I didn’t realize I had slacked off my goal.

Working against a lack of training and discipline in myself (didn’t grow up in a family that encouraged exercise AND my idea was cheer leading,  ahem) and a culture that warps the view is pretty stinkin’ difficult.  I have to model the importance, not just tell them to go do it, so as to not be a hypocrite or poor example.

Time to get in shape, figuratively and literally.

The first step of tying exercise to something they want seems to be working.  I’ll take it.

I’d love to hear any other suggestions for exercise that fit our parameters right now!

(Oh, and I would have put a photo of me jumping rope, but I look so amazingly coordinated that I didn’t want to discourage you from doing it yourself.  Ahem.)

What do you and your children do for exercise and/or how do you handle screen time? 

I love building a church family.  It is a uniquely wonderful connection.  I’ve shared many posts concerning church and the importance of it in a Believer’s life. {see full list on Different Series page}

I know this is going to be touchy, but I think it’s important for many reasons, so I’m going to put it out there anyway.

I’ve seen more than a few women teach that we are called to serve in the church.  I want to humbly say that I disagree.

Maybe.

It really depends on the definition of “serve”.

If we mean that we are all called to voluntarily work in the church in some capacity in some role specifically set up by a local church (committe/board/group), I definitely disagree.

First of all, there are a three specific roles that the Bible sets up for the local church: elder, deacon, and pastor/teacher.   Any others established by the local church to help things run smoothly are not Biblically established roles.

Secondly, I believe that all three of those roles in the local church are for men.  Specific men that fit the qualifications, are interested, and approved of by their congregations.

So if we mean that every Believer is called to serve in roles in the church, that wouldn’t be Biblical.  All three established roles for serving are for men and not for every man, so it wouldn’t be possible for everyone to do it.

If we mean that every Believer is called to serve the church with their lives, well then, I completely agree.  There are many ways God mentions we are to serve one another in the local church.  We are to:  

• pray for one another (James 5:16)
• confess your sins to each other (James 5:16)
• provide for the needs of one another (I John 3:17)
• care for the widow and orphan (James 1:27)
• encourage one another (Hewbrews 3:13) 
• chastise one another with love (Matthew 18:15)
• exhort one another (I Thessalonians 2:11) 
• fellowship with one another (Hebrews 10:25)
• worship together (Acts 2:42)
• hold each other accountable (Galatians 6:1-2)
• submit to leadership together  (Hebrews 13:17)*

As you can see, yes, there are lots of ways we are all called to serve in the local church!  If we deny these, then we are not being obedient to Christ.

To truly serve the local church (a body of Believers you have committed to), you have to invest yourself in the people of that church.  It requires really knowing them.  It requires time.  It requires commitment.

For example, if all we do is teach Sunday School, with no growing relationships at the local church, then I dare say we are being disobedient.

Women are specifically called to what is commonly called the Titus 2 ministry.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.  Titus 2:3-5

Lastly, I get to a very specific way that many are called to serve.  It was actually addressed (the women part) in the passage above.  Married people and parents are called to serve the church by lovingly and dutifully serving their spouses and families.

I cringe when I hear people say that we are all supposed to serve in the church because they usually mean we are all supposed to be up there doing some specific committe/board/group.  I just don’t see that in Scripture.

I also cringe when I see or hear of people NOT serving in their first role because they are so involved in the committes/boards/groups a local church has established.  What do I mean?

I mean that if someone is so busy running committes/boards/groups that they fail to truly invest in people, then they are not are not operating Biblically.

I mean that if a husband does not have time to care for, love, minister to, teach, lead, and provide fully for his wife and/or family because he is so busy doing things at church, then he is sinning.  He is called to his wife and family.  I know that because he is married and a father.  There is not other sign needed.

I mean that if a woman can not keep her home, love her children, minister to her husband,serve members of her church and build Titus 2 type of relationships because she is so busy doing work for the committees/boards/groups of a local church, then she is sinning.

Is it ok to volunteer for some committe/board/group?  Of course!  As long as you are serving in your first role (as a member to the other members), and -if you are married- your second role (to your spouse), and -if you are a parent- your third role (to your children).

Seek the LORD for his leading if you are to serve in a committee/board/group.  He may call you in and out of seasons for service in this kind of setting based on the other three situations.  He only calls you out of the others through death.

This may mean some people do not ever serve in the church in a specific committe/board/group.  That’s ok.  If they are serving their fellow members and families, then they are obeying Scripture.

Serve, for sure!  Just serve with your heart on Scripture, not on man’s design for a church.

*Scripture references and responsibility list are not exhaustive.

I absolutely love this photo of Paul Louis.  Love. it.

There is so much in it that moves my heart.  His favorite pajamas long outgrown, but found again and immediately  donned.  His self admiration of his muscles.  His lack of self consciousness in the moment.

His sweet childlike behavior is beautiful to me now, as a mother gone through this season six times and a woman who has grown into some spiritual maturity.

I didn’t see foolishness that needed training and discipline in that moment.  I saw childishness and innocent learning and exploration.  It was actually a beautiful moment for him.  And me.

I simply watched (and grabbed the camera that was thankfully just behind me) him see something new.  I enjoyed being there in his moment as he learned some cause and effect as well as some admiration of himself growing into a big boy.

Sure, we talk about humbleness and pride.  We will continue to do so as he grows.

I just see now that this season is fleeting. For both of us.

I just see now the beauty in distinguishing between childishness and foolishness.  For both of us.

I just see now the call to mothering in the way of extending grace for moments that fit the season.  For both of us.

I am so stinkin appreciative of many things with mothering, but I believe the biggest is that I get to experience it six times.

This photo may be by my bedside always.  Or at least until I’m a grandma.       ;-)

From macrame owls and denim dolls , to homecoming dresses and knit baby blankets, my mom made many things to show her support and love for me.  Every item more cherished now.

My mom  a terrific side line supporter for both of her daughters.  Every game.  Every big award.  Every big event.

I’m grateful for her investment in me, in my children, and in my family.  She encouraged me to be become the kind of mother I wanted to be, even if she didn’t understand my stance.  I realized as I was writing this that she never said a discouraging word to me an adult.

That’s quite an accomplishment for any woman, but my mama was as strong willed as they come and  very vocal.  Wow.

What a gift to realize today that she held her tongue out of her fierce love for me.  More than a little convicting too.

Today, I feel so blessed to have had a mother that loved fiercely and passed that calling on to me.  I have been given the chance to love just as fiercely six amazing people.

Thank you, Lord for the gift of my mother, Georgia Lagarde.  Thank you for the gift of motherhood to me.  I certainly don’t deserve it.  I am beyond grateful.

Hug your mom today!  And take a photo with her! 

I keep seeing something in the outer circles of my circles.  When you help run summer camps, one of the blessings is getting go to be around college age people.

I love seeing young adults finding their strengths and growing in maturity.  It’s a delight to be able to invest in them.  A strange thing I’ve noticed is that they get younger and younger looking every year.  Weird.

Ok, kidding aside… I have noticed something concerning regarding Christians and sex.  It breaks my heart, confuses me, and even angers me all at the same time.

I remember being a young Christian and sorting out behaviors.   I also remember truly not understanding some things, Biblically.  I even remember hearing some people teach anti-Biblical things and being confused.

So… let me be clear about something:

Christians should not have sex outside of marriage.  Yup, seriously.  No, I’m not kidding.  And no, that idea is not just for Biblical times.  It’s for today.

We may think this is just for dating teens, but it’s not.  I am actually more concerned about the young adults who are deceived into thinking their sexual activity isn’t a big deal.

I know that our culture is immersed in sex.   I know that dating without sex is difficult.  I know that just about everybody is doing it.

None of those excuse sex before marriage.

Not even if two people are in love.

Not even if two people are grown adults. 

Not even if two people are marrying each other soon.

Sex is for marriage.  Period.

It is counter cultural, I know that.  Living a life for Christ is counter-cultural.

I have a dear friend who is in her thirties and unmarried.  She has never had sex.  Why?  Because she is a Christian.  She loves the LORD and so she honors His ways.

She went to the doctor once and the nurse practitioner didn’t believe her when she said she had never had sex and was not sexually active, that she was saving herself for marriage.  The nurse was shocked.

She practically insisted my friend take the birth control offered.  She just about said aloud that my friend was lying. Even when told that her faith called her to abstinence, the nurse refused to believe.

I’ve seen the shock too. As you know, I did not save sex for marriage.  Once I gave my life to the LORD, it didn’t take too long for me to understand that sex was no longer an activity on the approved list.  I became what was called a secondary virgin. 

Paul and I didn’t have sex together before we married (though we were not honoring, which is another topic and post).

Fast forward to us being engaged: After I bought my wedding dress, I would go to the bridal shop every few days.  I’d put on my beloved dress and sashay around in it.  True story.

During one sashay visit, somehow the fact came out that Paul and I were going to enjoy a true wedding night (first time sex together, though maybe a true wedding night would best describe two virgins).  I remember jaws dropping.  None of the women, young and old, could believe that we had dated for almost three years and hadn’t had sex.

That’s when I experienced seeing shock the first time.  At least it was at a secular store.  When I saw it in church, I was a bit perturbed.

I started visiting churches right after becoming a Christian. As was a junior in college, so I went to the young adults class.  One day, they were discussing premarital sex.

Actually, it was like they were deciding what the answer was.  Those fifteen people were making the call.  And they decided that the instructions for sex only inside a marital covenant didn’t apply to the 1990s.  When I raised my hand and asked, “Have you all just decided that the Bible is outdated?”  Shocked faces, but silence.

I know that some young women really do believe this lie, since they might even be hearing it at church!

There are many passages that address the truth that sex outside of covenant is sexual immorality.

Acts 15:20;1 Corinthians 5:1;6:13,18;10:8;2 Corinthians 12:21;Galatians 5:19;Ephesians 5:3;Colossians 3:5;1 Thessalonians 4:3;Jude

I find it interesting that several of these passages call the Christian to be unlike the pagans.  We are called to be different, for Him.

As a Christian, we should view sex the way God views it.  

It is natural for us to want to rationalize or justify our behavior, even our sin.  We do it all the time, sadly.  I know that we are not perfect.  We are made perfect in Christ.  What a delight grace it!

Romans 6:1-2 addresses this grace and call to holiness.

“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”

I pray that if you are sinning in this area, that you talk to The God of Grace.  Ask for forgiveness.  Walk in repentance.  Seek the grace to stand firm in honoring God with your body in this area.

Be set apart, Christians!

Three hundred and sixty-five days.

How do I describe what is summarized in the sentence: we’ve lived here one year now.

A year ago, I cried as we pulled away from Kerrville, Texas.  I wept as we crossed the state and part of the next one.  I bawled as texts and calls from friends came in to encourage me/us.

Leaving our home of more than eighteen years and setting up a new home in a new place has proven to be the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.  And that’s saying a lot.

Our farewell address, spoken by Paul from the pulpit, to our beloved church summarizes how we felt the day before we loaded our family into the suburban to start a new life:

I have taken a new job with the University of New Mexico running a camp for autistic kids.  I will have the opportunity to work closely with families with special needs children as well as grow the program.  I am grateful for God’s provision of this new opportunity.

Mindy and I believe we have grown up here at Kerrville Bible Church. We came here as an engaged couple and are leaving as a family of eight.  We came here as a couple, babes in the LORD and we are leaving as adults in the faith.  We came here needing to be discipled and we are leaving blessed with the eagerness to disciple others.

Eighteen years of love, truth, and life have been poured into us fromt his pulpit and this people.  God has used you to grow us into the man and woman we are today.

He has shown us what it means to challenge and convict, to bear burdens and stand in the gap, to disciple and to train, and most of all to love and support.

God’s Word has been hidden in our hearts.  Deeply.

While we are trusting God’s leading, sovereignty, and faithfulness in this move and huge life change, we are heart heavy to leave our home, our people of KBC.

Words can not express how much this church means to us, but God’s word gives us a little something to say to you:

Ephesians 1:15-19  Because I have seen of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for the saints, I never stop giving thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers.  But more than that, I ask the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, that He may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.  That He make your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what He is calling you to do, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints, And so that you can know and understand what is the immeasurable and surpassing greatness of his power in and for you, as demonstrated  in the working of His mighty power.

Thank you for everything.  We love you all.

From the hills of the Texas Hill Country to the high plains of the East Mountains of New Mexico, just as the landscape changed drastically, so has our life.  

I’ve related to the Israelites this year.   I feel sent to the desert.  Well, I am in the desert actually, but I mean figuratively. I have even cried out like they did.  I’ve complained. I’ve griped about provision.  I’ve yelled at the leader (ahem).

As I pondered how to express what I’ve been going through, the best analogy I have come up with is that of a transplanted tree.

When I read the following from a professional gardener talking about transplant shock, I grinned sadly in understanding.

Transplant shock should be expected the first year – be thankful if your plants dodge it! More often than not, your plants will take a full growing season or even more to adjust to their new surroundings and to compensate for the stresses of transplanting. Allow them this time, and don’t try to force them to grow and perform as soon as they get home! Your plants may not look happy for a year or two; just accept this and do your best to help them out.  Credit here.

My marriage has taken a hit.  My finances have taken a hit.  My spiritual life has taken a hit.

Was I properly transplanted?  Yes, I believe so.  We prayed and prayed and saw God’s leading on where to plant here and confirmation after the decision.

Did water management go well?  Gonna have to say no on this one.  I withdrew for a long period,  not taking in the water of life.

Was I staked to help with growth?  Resounding yes on this one!  God blessed me tremendously by providing amazing women for me to be staked to during this year.  I am so very grateful.

Have I been patient in this season?  Absolutely not.  I have been impatient with the LORD and with myself.  Honestly, not until I looked up this article and read that it can take a well rooted tree over a year, did I accept that a mere year into a completely new life for a human really isn’t that long.

I have so very much to be grateful for in my life, yes, even this new life.

• I have a patient and loving LORD who shows me in little ways often how involved He is in my life.  
• I have a patient and loving family that is together and growing.  
• I have patient and loving friends both near and far away who encourage and support me.

The biggest blessing God has provided during this incredibly difficult transplant into a completely new life has been a Christian community.  He knew it was necessary for my survival and that has not gone unnoticed by me.

We have been given amazing families as gifts to us as family and to each Brouse, in different ways.  These families love the LORD and have been willing to invest in us.  As a textbook extrovert, this was the most important part of my transplant success. 

They may never know how much they have changed my life and my family’s life, by doing so, but tears stream down my face as I think of the varied ways each family has sown into us.

They may never know how their sacrifice of time, effort and energy towards helping a family take root in this high desert has changed the course of our life.

They may never know how they have helped me during my transplant shock.

I pray the LORD blesses them seven times over for it.

Does this mean I’ve been miserable the entire year?  No, not by a long shot!  While I am still adjusting and Kerrville-sick, I have had some terrific times.  Some terrific connections. Some terrific ordained moments.

Most of all, I have some terrific people in my life.

I’m grateful for friends and now an article about transplant shock of trees – of all things!- that reminds me that one year isn’t really long enough to have fully adjusted.  I have felt guilty often at how sad I still am at times and feel badly even mentioning it to some people.

I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year.  I still am a bit in shock that He called us to leave.  Is that a part of transplant shock?

Still, I have definite signs of growth: some buds and some new leaves on this transplant.

Here’s to the upcoming end of transplant shock and a new growing season for me!  

Last year’s post on this day: click here. 

Friends are pretty stinkin’ important to me.  Seriously.

I think intentional friendships are important.  I know that deep Biblical friendships are important.  I believe that an intimate circle of friends is important.

But… I don’t like the term best friends.

I understand it’s a term of endearment.  I do.  I love endearing terms.  Truly.

I understand that it’s a recognition of an especially close relationship.  I get that too.

Yet, I am still not a fan of the title.

Here are my reasons:

• It leaves every person but one on the outside.
• It puts someone in a position of either reciprocating the term or hurting a friend. 
• It is serious favoritism. 
• It can seem or actually be selfish.
• It hurts other friends who feel a strong fondness or closeness.
• If feelings change about the closeness, then there is an awkwardness .

I think it is important that we encourage our children to have good friends and even especially close ones.  I just think it is important as Christians that we are honoring in our friendships and that includes titles.

We want to keep our friendships from place of idolatry or exclusivity.  That is good for ourselves and for others. 

I know that there will be times when my children and I have what feels and seems like best friends. I’m not naive.  I just don’t call that person my best friend and I ask the kids to not use the title with anyone.   I want to help them develop godly friendships and godly views of friendships and I want to do the same for myself.

Let’s give them time and the freedom to develop terrific friends.

Let’s equip and empower them in the life long skill of learning what kind of person makes a good friend.

Let’s model and maintain an honoring view of loving others.

So,  I don’t like or use the term best friends… BUT I sure love friends! 

*This post has been promised since the post linked above in August.  I’m nothing if not prompt. Ahem.    

I truly believe the American social dating model is a disaster.  In an effort to share some different views, I’m hosting a series on Dating Differently. Third part is the series is today.  My friend Linda shares- mother of three grown children and three middle school boys.  She and her husband love the LORD and delight in raising their children according to His Word.  

1) Were there any books hat you read about dating differently/courtship? If so, what were they?

We’ve read lots of books on courtship through the years. Our two favorites were Her Hand in Marriage by Doug Wilson and Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris (which is particularly good if your children are now adults).

 2) When did you realize that you wanted to approach dating differently and how did you feel about that?

My children were 6, 8, and 10 (I think) when I first heard of courtship. We loved the idea of children and parents being involved together through this process. We talked about relationships from that perspective from then on. Those children (now adults: 20, 22, 24) are still grateful for this mindset and love having us there for advice and counsel.

 3) Why do you want your children to approach this differently?

 The idea that young people might wait until they were actually ready to marry before being involved in relationships immediately sounded wise. Why play the dating game? What benefit was there to dating prior to being ready to marry? Who better to help our children navigate these waters than the parents who love them and have spent so much time with them through the years?

4) Did you share your ideas/general plan with others?

We did discuss courtship with people who understood this concept. To people for whom this would just seem weird we just tried to explain that our children would be waiting until they were ready to marry to begin the process of looking for a spouse (or course it is really the guys who are doing anything about “looking”).

 5) What was most different about dating differently/courtship?

For us it was a mindset. Guys and girls are brothers and sisters in Christ and were to be treated as such. My kids didn’t spend time daydreaming about what it wasn’t time for yet.

 6) Do you have a list (mentally or actually on paper) of questions you wanted to discuss with a suitor for your daughter or ones you wanted your son to share with a father?

We used to have a long list, but over time that has really moderated. As I mentioned above, our children are now adults (though we do still have younger children at home). There are some really important core basics that we look to as our “questions”.

1. Does this person love and serve God? What does this look like in their daily lives?

2. Are they actively involved in a Bible teaching church and are they serving God’s people and their community?

3. Are they already living a life that shows a commitment to submitting to God’s authority and the authorities placed over them? (as opposed to thinking this might be a good thing to try now that they want to court my daughter…)

7) Were there any people you wanted your suitor to meet as a part of the process?

I have know families to whom this was really important and I can see the wisdom in that. We didn’t have anyone particular in mind, but that might be one of those things that varies from situation to situation. The young man who is courting our daughter was well known in the community in which they live (which includes all of our adult children and was well known by them) and my husband did get several references about him as well as talking to his father.

 8) What would you most like people to know about dating differently?

This has been a wonderful decision for our family. It made complete sense to our children that they would not look for a spouse until they were ready to be married. Our adult children have been incredibly grateful for our commitment to walking through this with them and for the preparation we gave them in training their hearts for their future spouse.

 9) What does the process look like for your family?

I fully expect the process to look different for each of my children/situation. A few specifics that expect each courtship would include:

• Time for my husband and I to get to know the suitor/young lady (this would include asking/answering questions that would “deal breakers”
• A check on some character references
• Time for the couple to get to know one another as friends
• Lots of prayer
• Numerous conversations on a wide variety of topics between parents and their own child and each young person and the other person’s parents.

One of our daughters is in a courtship now and it has been wonderful. However, I can see that the specifics that have worked very well for this couple won’t be what will be “just right” for our son or our other daughter (or other sons, much further down the road). Our desire is for us (the parents) to be flexible in “how” this is done to suit each situation yet remaining involved and deliberate in achieving the goals. To God be the Glory!

10) Please share anything else you’d like.

This isn’t a one size fits all concept. There are many different definitions for the idea of courtship. Build relationship with your children now, don’t wait until your son/daughter is ready to date to drop this idea on them. Read some books, visit with friends, pray, talk to your children (yes even young children) in terms of the change of mindset you are wanting to develop. Don’t cave when the world thinks you’re weird, but do be prepared to flex and change with each one of your children and the situation God brings for them.

In fun news, Linda’s second daughter has just become engaged with a wedding planned for this summer!  This model has been followed and the couple is a beautiful example of godly courtship/dating differently. 

Does any of this resonate with you? 

Post 1: Why My Kids Won’t Be Doing the Dating Thing

Post 2: (in two parts) Jan’s Story

My kiddos have wanted a trampoline pretty much their whole lives.  Every six of them.  That means that for a combined total of 64 years, my kids have wanted a trampoline.

I have a thing against trampolines.  Well, I did until I found the Springfree Trampoline.  What a great invention.  Wish we could afford one.

Springfree Trampoline is having a Mother’s Day contest… with the theme of Supermom…

and we’ve entered.  Would you please help us win!

Click on this link.  

Click Like for the page.  Then scroll down and….

Click to vote for me/us: Mindy Brouse.  It’s this photo.  :)

Pretty please!  

ETA: If you tried voting and the link wouldn’t work, were you trying via an iPad or phone??  For some reason, despite Springfree saying it should work, we’ve had many friends not be able to vote if trying that way.  Please try via a “regular” computer.  Thank you!

Help us win!